Church Music Association Public Rehearsal

“C. M. A. rehearsal, Steinway, 4 p.m. Platform & house well filled. Most of ‘Spring’ done—then the Beethoven Mass—choruses in ‘Spring’ rather wild—little duo for Mrs. Gulager & Leggat, charmingly done & much approved. Miss Sterling being still unavailable by reason of bronchitis, Ellie was urged by Cooke, Pech & Edmund to take the alto solo part in the Mass. It is a fine vigorous part, but not showy. It suited her voice, & her tastes, for she delights in this Mass. She knew it by heart, had practiced it thoroughly, & had sung it here, in quartette, with admirable precision & intelligence. So she took her seat with the soli this afternoon. But she had got up this morning with a small headache & had been fighting it all day. Sitting through an hour of ‘Spring,’ (in which there is no alto solo part), bunglingly rendered, & with many pauses & repeats, made her nervous. In the Kyrie of the Mass she did her little solo phrase excellently well, & then waited for the Qui tollis which it devolved on her to open. But she felt that in this great hall she could not ‘find her voice.’ She looked forward to the Qui tollis, that was coming nearer & nearer every minute, with an agony of terror. It was a simple case of stage fright. So she passed the word for nice good-natured Mrs. Jenny Kempton, who is always ready in an emergency, to take her place, & withdrew to her seat in the chorus.

I’m sorry for this—for poor Ellie felt (most unnecessarily) mortified & humiliated, & is disappointed moreover at finding herself prevented by mere nervous panic or paralysis from doing what she feels she can do so well. Where shall we place this alto part?”