Comic article about Pastor’s new scheme for free admission for mothers-in-law on Friday evenings. “A man who can bring peace and harmony to the domestic circle, where discord and fighting have always held sway, is deserving of a monument ‘not built with hands, eternal in the skies.’ Such a man is Anthony Pastor, Esq., proprietor of Tony Pastor’s Opera-house. By a single coup de theatre he has leveled all distinctions, harmonized all conflicting family interest, and brought order out of chaos. ‘How has Antoninus done this marvelous thing, me liege?’ ‘We will tell thee anon.’ In all well [illeg.] regulated families there is a mother-in-law—seldom two, because a duality of such evil spirits would bring destruction upon the unhappy family ere a week had elapsed. One mother-in-law is fully as many as a well-balanced, domestic fireside can survive under. This solitary mother-in-law, with every rare exceptions, keeps things moving, keeps everybody in an excited state of mind, and is ever on the rampage. Of course, she is left to work out her own salvation as best she may. Heretofore, no one has been able to manage her; she walked over the course without [illeg.], happy in the knowledge that she was making everybody miserable—setting husband against wife, sister against brother, and children against parents. There seemed dot be no escape from this female vampire, except to follow Gen. Dix’s wise admonition, and shoot her on the spot. This, while being justified by common law, might result, through a packed jury of mothers-in-law, in the convictions and imprisonment of the shooter. In such a moment, when hope was hoping against hope, Mr. Pastor calmly surveyed the situation, soothingly examined the refractory patient, formed his diagnosis, and set to work to effect a cure. ‘But he didn’t do it, though, did he?’ If we be telling this story, peace must reign; otherwise, go on, thou. ‘Prithee, proceed, good Mister Man: heed not these idle interruptions, which are but the outcroppings of a diseased intellect, the result of too much mother-in-law. In sooth, we cry you mercy.’ To affect this cure, Doctor Pastorius kindly invited families to bring their mothers-in-law to his theatre every Friday evening, without charge! It was a case of ‘no cure, no pay.’ Mothers-in-law hailed this new redemptorist as the exponent of a higher law, as the embodiment of a living principle. Families worshipped him as another Moses, and matrimonial [illeg.] approached the abyss without fear, without hesitation. And now, on every Friday evening, the house of Doctor Pastorius is filled with happy families—husbands and wives and mothers-in-law may be seen joyously blending together as a comfortable entirety of human felicity—children view the great show in delight, and no one to make them afraid. At home, all is joy and gladness—no quarreling, no fighting, no jealousies. The mother-in-law has become ‘an object of interest,’ and a new order of things reigns. Let other cities emulate this noble example, and ere long the whole human family will be basking in the sunlight of love and peace.”

Describes Richards’s underwater act. “…Thomas and Lotta Winnette, clad in rich costumes of ‘The Black Crook’ style, danced a double jig in a meritorious manner, and cheerfully responded to a recall. Later in the evening Thomas Winnette sang several Ethiopian character songs. The remainder of the programme included fresh musical acts by the Freeman Sisters… Tony Pastor’s excellent comic vocalizations; double songs by George and Charles Reynolds; serio-comic songs by Jenny Engel…” No further mention of music.